The weakest bit of my research. An assignment given by my teacher, João da Silva.

https://vimeo.com/290500169

If this is the weakest bit in my research, this bit is about being more pragmatic and nuanced, in my relation to structures and institutions, in the way I include theory in my practice, in my compositional decisions.

If this is the weakest bit in my research this bit is about being fully aware of the strategies I employ

in writing, in performing, in moving, and in thinking.

If this is the weakest bit in my research, then this letter is about the artist at work, the possibilities of language and body within time and space, the movement of thought, the thought of movement, temporality and ephemerality.

If this is the weakest bit in my research, this letter is about strategies of moving with the audience, strategies on brainstorming and free associating with others, solo performing and

individual writing in dialogue with others.

If this is the weakest bit in my research, then this letter is about dealing with, coming to terms with, confronting, resisting, creating a dialogue with, acting to, reacting to, changing, and/or fighting words that end in -ism, and -ization like the following ones. Capitalism, neoliberalism, fundamentalism, institutionalism, consumerism, socialism, utilitarianism, constructivism, sensationalism, traditionalism, sexism, and nihilism. Hypothyroidism, probably not. Homogenisation, generalisation, specialisation, gentrification, globalisation, institutionalisation, westernisation, rationalisation, dramatisation, and systematisation. Miniaturisation, probably not.

If this is the weakest bit in my research, this letter deals with power, exposure, precarity, critique

and knowledge.

If this is the weakest bit in my research, then I would need to talk without words and yet look into the relation of language to time and space. I would need to fill in the space with this weakest bit. How would a space be filled in with my research's weakest bit ?

Maybe it is important to have in mind the dimensions of the space. Is it different to talk about filling in a small box and filling in a bedroom, so to say, or a dance studio, a theatre, an outside space, a stadium, or the sky, the sea, the universe? If this reflection is to be taken seriously, then I need to ask if the bit remains a bit when it covers a large in terms of dimensions space? How can it remain small, just a bit, when covering something so large as the sea or the universe? Because I don't want my weakest bit to stretch herself in order to fill in any space. Neither do I want her to remain fragmented, all I am looking for is a space for her where she can exist on herself while filling in another space. Maybe then my weakest bit becomes the other space, the box, or the sea or the universe, and in that sense she maintains her character in quality and in size while existing freely within another space?

If this is the weakest bit in my research, it has the qualities of 'Mugnog' or 'Mormolis' in Greek, by Rainer Hachfeld, my favourite theatre play as a child. This means that the weakest bit is common, rather than extraordinary, and it can take imaginary qualities. It shows me ways to make full use of my grips, my wit, my common sense and imagination. It is there to show me ways to challenge reality.

I am also wondering if this bit can be seen outside of her context, of her discourse so to say. What I am challenging here is my capacity to see the weakest bit of my research as something completely inseparable and independent of the weakest bit of artistic research in general, or of the artistic research discourse so to say. In other words, how can I avoid to see my research as something not valid or even as something that does not exist, on the one hand, especially when compared to scientific research and to the knowledge that is produced by it, and on the other hand as being anything or everything produced in the art field?

To conclude, I need to say that personally, with the years, I have trained myself to treat weaknesses with care and not as something that needs to be kicked away or be overcome. I have trained myself to talk to them, to help them, to ask them to go for a walk when I need to be stronger for certain situations, and come back when I can afford them psychologically. This is what I want do with this specific weakness as well. I would like to treat my research's weakest bit with care, in order to learn from it but also keep my research going.